Monday, January 21, 2013

Upcoming Reminders & Events

Sunday, January 27th, the youth praiseband will be having practice in the shed starting at 5:00.  Bring your instruments and voices!  See you there : ).

Youth will be meeting from 7:00-8:00 on January 27th.  However, the shed is always open starting at 6:30 on Sunday nights for those who want to come hang out before youth!

Sunday, February 3rd is the last day to sign up for our trip to Lake Junaluska.  Don't forget, when you sign up you must also pay a $75 deposit that holds your spot.  If you have any questions or concerns please contact Kelly!

Sunday, February 3rd we will be having our Youth Superbowl Party at the Vaughn's home!  Bring a friend and come enjoy a night of football, food, and fun with friends!

The youth will be having 2 fundraisers during the month of February so mark your calendars!!

1. Friday, February 15th (the day after Valentine's day) the youth will have a babysitting night fundraiser.  Parents can drop their kids off in the fellowship hall starting at 6:00 p.m. and will need to pick their children up no later than 11:00 p.m. The cost will be $5 per kid per hour.  However, no family can exceed $50 for the entire night.  We will be serving pizza for dinner in the fellowship hall starting at 6:30.  Hope to see you there!!

2.  Sunday, February 24th we will be having a luncheon fundraiser following worship in the fellowship hall.
Meal:  Chicken spaghetti, green beans, and yellow pound cake for dessert.  You can either eat your meal at the church or take it to go.  If you eat at the church a sweet tea will be included with your meal.  $5 per plate.  Hope you will all come out and support us!!

YOUTH:  For our babysitting night fundraiser please be in the fellowship hall at 5:45.  For our luncheon fundraiser we will prepare the food on Saturday, February 23rd starting at 10:00 in the fellowship hall.  On Sunday, February 24th please be in the fellowship hall at 10:00 to begin serving plates.
* Remember, if you are not present at the fundraiser AND helping you will not receive any of the money for your trip to Lake J.  So please come and be ready to work!!  Ya'll are doing a fantastic job!!

Thank you to all,
Kelly

Give Thanks


Thank you to ALL who supported the youth yesterday in our fundraiser!  All of the money we raised will go directly to our youth to help them pay for their spot to go to Lake Junaluska, NC this summer!  Keep your eyes and ears open for our fundraisers to come in the future months.  We love ya'll so much!
-FUMC Youth Group

**If you are interested in checking out the website for Lake Junaluska you can go to www.lakejunaluska.com.  On the left you will see "Lake Junaluska SURGE Youth Events."  Click on "read more" and this will take you to the main page.  We will be there the week of June 16-20th.**

Questions?  Contact Kelly.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Fake I.D.


 


Fake I.D.: Parent Cue



1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

It’s an age-old problem—one that begins to plague us around the time adolescence hits and, if we aren’t careful, follows us around the rest of our lives. It is the question of who we are—what makes up our identity, what defines us, what makes us, us. But imagine if, instead of wrestling with these questions in the complexity of adulthood, we started to tackle them in the formative teenage years? What if we took a good, long, hard look at some of the foundational questions during the years that shape us more than any others? Who am I? Where do I belong? What is my purpose? We are going to begin to scratch the surface of identity tackling the difficult to ask—and even more difficult to answer—questions that ultimately end up defining who we are.


2. Be a Student of Your Student

When it comes to parenting styles, everyone has an opinion. And while we could all stand to show more grace towards one another when navigating our role with our kids in this tricky stage of life, I think we can all agree there are some things we may be in the habit of doing that are good and some things that could be quite detrimental. Mickey Goodman, in a recent article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Mickey-goodman/are-we-raising-a-generati_b_1249706.html?ref=parents&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl8%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D135588)  tells stories of kids who upon arriving to college and receiving a less than satisfactory grade, had their parents call the professor to try and negotiate the score. But he doesn’t stop there. He goes on to relay the story of a parent who actually accompanied their child on a job interview. Yes, a job interview. Would you be surprised to learn this young woman did not get the job she applied for?


These may be fairly outrageous examples of parenting, but according to Tim Elmore, founder and president of the non-profit group Growing Leaders, they may be more disturbing than we realize because they represent a growing trend among parents. Hovering. Over-involvement. Intervening. They are evidence that a genuine attempt by parents to protect kids has evolved into something actually harming and stunting the growth and formation of a child’s identity. Which isn’t to say this is a parent’s intention. But however pure the motive, the result is not a good one. In other words, when we parent out of fear of what our kids may experience without our intervention, the actions we take as a result can have debilitating results.


It probably doesn’t take much prompting for you to remember the day you brought your child home from the hospital. The fear and terror combined with the overwhelming sense of joy and responsibility is enough to send anyone into an emotional tailspin. As parents, from day one, we have the engrained and prevalent instinct to protect our children—at all costs. But what more studies and psychologists are finding, the cost is actually the long-term wellbeing of our child. In an attempt to make sure our kids grow up safe, grow up protected, grow up secure and grounded in their identity, we are actually keeping them from growing up at all, leaving them ill-prepared for the actuality of the real world. So when it comes time to actually leave the nest, we are sending out kids with no real sense of who they are and no real skills on how to figure out life’s difficulties for themselves.


In other words we are raising kids not just sheltered from some of the harmful influences of culture, but kids sheltered from the realities of life—who don’t know disappointment and failure—and as a result don’t know how to recover from it when they do encounter it. And we are parenting this way for the sake of our own peace of mind. Tim Elmore says it this way. “We are consumed with protecting them instead of preparing them for the future. We haven’t let them fall, fail and fear.” In fact, you could say, we have done the fearing for them—allowing our personal apprehensions to dictate the way we parent, keeping our kids from learning valuable life-shaping lessons on their own.


And so, I wonder if we would do a better job as parents if we first dealt with our personal fears—be they well-founded or not—choosing to keep our fears from governing us and dictating the method and mode of our parenting. I wonder if we learned to take a deep breath and step back, if we just might be surprised, pleased and proud of the people—or maybe more appropriately, the adults—our teenagers are becoming—even in spite of us. And I wonder, if we learned to do this, what message it might send to our kids about the promise and hope they can find in themselves without our intervention, and if they would be more empowered and equipped to handle the world as a result.


3. Action Point

I think we would all admit that one of our biggest parenting faux pas come when we try to live vicariously through our children—trying to fix what was wrong circumstantially for us or in us by the way we treat and raise our offspring. The problem is, when we do this, we still don’t’ end up “fixing” ourselves and oftentimes we end up “breaking” our kids in ways we didn’t expect. So use this time with your teenager to create an honest dialogue over your own fears, personal shortcomings and hopes for them and give them the space and time to do the same.

Share with your teenager the fears you have for them. (Think specific—not just the really “obvious” or “big” fears. Think of the every day fears that may not seem that big to anyone else but drive you and your parenting.) Can you think of anything from your own personal experience as you grew up that caused you to have this fear for your child? How has your personal fear dictated the way you parent?


Family psychologist John Rosemond says this about encouraging our children and their dreams. “It’s time we tell them that doing great things starts with accomplishing small goals.”

Does it seem like a scary thing to allow your child to do this? What are some of the big goals you have in mind for your child? Does the way you parent encourage or hamper their big dreams? What are some of the small, more attainable goals you can set for them—that don’t scare you to death, but also give them a proper perspective on what is required to make their dreams happen? Ask your teenager what are some of the big dreams they have for themselves—and ask them what are some smaller attainable things they can begin to accomplish now that will help them as they strive for these bigger goals. How can you help them make this happen without over stepping your bounds and doing too much?


Ask your teenager if there are things they see in your parenting that are really just your fears being played out. Are there areas they feel stifled by you? Are there areas where you are too controlling? (Try not to feel judged or defensive if they do have something to say.)


What can you do as a parent to better support them and equip them as they journey towards discovering who they are and who they want to be?



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